A View from Stage-Side, Looking Up

This has nothing to do with stripping, but it’s just too damn cute not to reblog. 

missgingerlee:

If you register you can give me 10 votes at once. 10 votes are pretty cool. Voting for me is cool. My name is in the ‘Entertainer of the Year’, ‘Adult Feature Entertainer of the Year’, & ‘Club Favorite Feature of the Year’ sections. Voting ends May 31. See…I’m only gonna torture y’all with ‘vote for me’ things for about a week.  

www.theedawards.com 

I won’t hate you if you reblog this. Nope. Won’t hate you one bit. 

mswyrr:

always-tete:

Female pilot boots passenger for sexist comments

airandsea:

SAO PAULO — A Brazilian airline says one of its female pilots tossed a passenger off a flight because he was making sexist comments about women flying planes.

Trip Airlines…

yourlastconfession:

Below is my response to some of the points made is this article. 

Hey there,

I’ve never heard of the Good Men Project (and shame on me for being culturally ignorant to such an appalling extent) but it’s always encouraging to see men who aren’t willing to simply accept the gender roles our society likes to hand out. So, kudos to you for that. And as a woman, and a stripper, it’s great to read articles that aren’t out to demonize the sex industry and its employees.

However, while I’m sure he was simply speaking from his experience, Brad makes a couple of comments that aren’t quite true. Now, since he was speaking from experience, perhaps the club he worked at was simply different than the ones I’ve worked in. But I do want to take the time to point out a few facets of the industry he may not be aware of. I’ve been stripping for 7 years now (I guess that means I’m not “normal” by Brad’s standards. Whoops.) and have worked in over 20 clubs across the U.S. so I like to think I have a pretty good grasp of the industry.  That being said, like Brad, I can, of course, only speak from my experience—so with that in mind I’m going to take this opportunity to nit-pick some statements he made. I hope you’ll excuse the novel length comment.

»Did the guys want dances, or was it that they wanted someone to talk to?
A little bit of both

Narrowing down the reasons someone might come to a strip club into 2 categories is really, really, limiting. Customers come in for a vast variety of reasons that simply can’t be summed up by “conversation” or “sex/dances”.

 Yes, you do get the guys who come in because they want someone to talk to. Maybe he had a shitty day at work and just needs to vent. Maybe his marriage isn’t going so well and he can’t talk to his wife any more. Maybe he works nights and none of his friends are on the same schedule, etc. In those cases being a stripper is a lot like being a therapist. A naked therapist, but still. For many people it’s a lot easier to talk to a stranger than a friend (why do you think so many people tell their troubles to bartenders?). But you also get the guys who come in for the experience of having an intelligent, attractive, woman make them feel wanted and/or needed. They don’t want dances, and they don’t want to take me home;   they just like to feel that someone enjoys their company. Essentially the last thing they want is sex. They specifically come in looking for “flattery” of the strictly mental/emotional kind.

And of course, yes, you do get the customers who are there for the sexual aspect (the ones who shout obscenities at the stage or try to grope me beneath the bar). Generally speaking they’re a minority. And often these customers have a deeper, ulterior motive they may not even be aware of—the guy trying to grope me probably isn’t doing it solely because he finds me attractive, but because he feels a need to exert control and feel powerful in a “manly” way. Thanks again, gender stereotypes. In any case my point is that customers do not fall into 2 neat categories, talk, or dance. There are tons of reasons guys come in—and it’s important to be aware of them.

»What was the mindset of the dancers? How do they deal with what they were doing?
Some of them were really secretive. Everybody has a stage name, but the funny thing was, they would keep their personas outside of work and continuously call each other by their stage names.

Sorry Brad, not everyone has a stage name. My name is Lilah. Guess what my stage name is. That’s right, Lilah. *shrug* I just don’t have a great need for secrecy in my life, and certainly not in my work. Some girls feel differently, but I don’t hide what I do because there is nothing shameful about what I do. My friends all know I strip. My landlord knows. Hell, even my parents know. My mom’s come down to the club and watched my sets in the past. Some people say I should use a fake name to protect myself from potential stalkers. To that I say: I’ve been stalked. In my experience if someone is really determined to stalk you it will take more than a fake name to deter them.

As to the idea that strippers are so secretive they call each other by their stage names even outside of work, let me say this: calling each other by our stage names arises out of a need for convenience, not secrecy. Why take the chance that you’ll accidentally call another girl by the wrong name at work, thereby blowing up her proverbial spot in front of customers? It’s just more to remember, and we already meet a lot of new people every night. Remembering the names of customers is hard enough.

»Does she strip still?
No. A lot of the normal ones, the minute they don’t have to, they won’t. You always hear they’re just putting themselves through college, but the minute they can get a real job, they’ll do it. The problem is, sometimes they find themselves a little bit too lazy to get up and do that. You can tell which ones are motivated and which ones are just kind of like,”Well, fuck it.” The normal ones, I don’t think it’s ever their lifelong passion to stay in the business; they’re always looking for something better.

Ok Brad, now we have to have words. A lot of what he says here is problematic—not only does he imply that stripping isn’t a “real” job, but he also intimates that stripping is easy (and I’m not convinced that his use of the word “normal” isn’t flat out insulting). Unfortunately, I hear similar sentiments from clients all the time. When sitting with someone I often get the question “So, what else do you do?” and they’re never referring to my hobbies. The assumption is that stripping can’t be my only source of income, and I must have a “real” job as well. First, let’s just clear this up: stripping IS a real job. It is hard, tiring, draining work. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Clearly not even the high monetary incentive is enough to convince more women to try it. Why? It’s ridiculously difficult.

It requires a level of confidence most people don’t have, strength, determination, intelligence and determination. I work 8 hour shifts just like most 9-5 jobs—only I don’t get breaks. And I don’t have benefits. No sick time. No 401k. No vacation time. Even though there is a high risk of injury in pole dancing, I am not eligible for workers comp. It’s a bit like hosting a party; you have to make sure everyone is happy and enjoying themselves regardless of how you feel. If you’re tired, you can’t show it. Angry? Better bottle it up. Sick? Take an aspirin. Your job is to entertain. Keep everyone happy, interested and invested. Even if someone isn’t your favorite person, you make sure they have a good time. Just like hosting a party, it’s fun, but it’s exhausting. Stripping is like that—only you do it for 8 hours straight, 5 days a week, in heels, for people you don’t even know. And so I’m still a bit confused as to why it doesn’t qualify as “real” work.

Next problem: “sometimes they find themselves a bit too lazy to get up and do that” Again, lazy? Brad implies that it’s easier to continue to strip than to go work in an office or what-have-you. Well, I’m pretty sure we just covered how stripping is anything but easy. If a woman continues to strip as opposed to going out and getting a different, more socially accepted, job, you can be pretty sure it isn’t because she’s lazy.

And finally, he says “The normal ones, I don’t think it’s ever their lifelong passion to stay in the business”. This implies that if a woman does make the conscious choice to remain a stripper as long as she can, she is somehow abnormal for making that choice, or that the choice itself is wrong. Sorry, but I take personal offense to that. I love my job. With all it’s ups and downs, I love my job. I’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the club before I quit. I refuse to believe that choosing this profession is an inherently poor choice. I’m an educated woman (graduated magna-cum-laude from Hofstra University in NY) and I know exactly who I am and what I want. I enjoy stripping. I want to continue to strip. If that makes me “abnormal” whoops—guess I’m a freak.

»What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about strip clubs?
They are comfortable with themselves, and they look at men as complete idiots.

Uhm, please don’t put words in our mouths. I do not look at men as complete idiots. Why would I? Because they’re willing to pay for my time? That just means they find my company valuable. Guess what—I have enough self-respect to agree with them. My company & time are valuable. The only men I see as idiots are the ones who don’t respect me as a person. But I don’t need to go to a strip club to find those.

»What does it say about male sexuality that men, especially the big spenders, would go into the club and sit there for hours talking with some girl and spending thousands of dollars?
That we’re complete suckers.

You do yourself, and every man on earth, a disservice by saying this. Calling men “suckers” when they make the conscious choice to enter a strip club invalidates the thought they put into that choice. It’s not as if they walk in unaware of the dynamic that exists. They know how a strip club works. They know they’re going to have to pay us if they want our company. And they choose to do so. That doesn’t make them suckers—it makes them self-aware. Calling them suckers is basically saying they didn’t know what they were getting into, and that’s just patently untrue.

All right, I apologize for absconding with your article/comment thread. I do hope that what I’ve said highlights some of the facets of stripping folks may not have considered before. If anyone is interested in learning more, please feel free to visit my website, Body of Indulgence. Drop by to discuss the finer points of stripping, ask questions, or even just say hi at any time—I’m happy to speak with you. 

Best,
Lilah Quinn
Bodyofindulgence.com

lilyleilana:

Before I auditioned as a stripper, I was warned by a few friends and other dancers to prepare myself for the huge array of stupid questions I would constantly be asked on a nightly basis. “Would you go out with me? Can I have your number? Do you do ‘things’ outside the club?” I remember…

They say you should go out doing what you love. A 67-year-old Texas man may have taken that inspirational advice to heart Friday night when he died at a strip club while getting erotic lap dances. According to a manager at the Red Parrot, Robert Gene White was face-deep in pelvic gyrations when it came time to pay the girls and he was found unresponsive. Staff attempted CPR before calling emergency responders, who took the man to the hospital. We can only guess White’s final earthly sights, but we’re pretty sure he passed on to the other side with pleasant visions in tow.

stfuconservatives:

It looks like it’s already been bombed (The Yesses are at 91.27%), but more votes can’t hurt.

-Jess